Wedding guest lists: trim them and save your sanity!
One of the most stressful aspects of wedding planning is the guest list; specifically who to invite and who not to invite. It can cause a great deal of disagreements between families. If your parents are paying for 99% of the wedding it can seem like your opinion doesn't count.
First of all, let's discuss the purpose of a wedding. Why do we plan an intimate event such as a wedding with 200 guests witnessing a very private moment? It is to bring two families together, see friends and family and most importantly, to have FUN! But when the wedding becomes too big, it causes the bride and groom to have to make small talk while going table to table to chat with people they hardly know, instead of enjoying their day. You are not obligated to invite everyone, so the general rule of thumb is to trim the guest list to 30% bride's family, 30% groom's family and 30% friends. What about co-workers? Tell your co-workers that you cannot invite all of them and it would be rude and cause hurt feelings to only invite a few, so no co-workers. A word to the wise, don't even think about inviting guests to the ceremony only. This is really in poor taste and is worse than not inviting at all.
How else can you keep the guest count down? Institute a no-kids policy. You will have to pay for their meals and most kids are not going to appreciate an expensive meal. They are distracting and can take away from the adults having a good time. It is OK to have a couple who may be in the wedding party but best to keep kids to a minimum. (See www.blusheventsaustin's blog: Tell guests no kids at wedding on how to word an invitation for adults only).
How about the plus one's? This is tough, but if the boyfriend/girlfriend is someone you have never met, then you are not obligated to invite them. If they live together they should be invited.
Bottom line: if there are hurt feelings and the families feel like some guests will be upset and missing out, they could plan an informal second "reception" at a later date.
First of all, let's discuss the purpose of a wedding. Why do we plan an intimate event such as a wedding with 200 guests witnessing a very private moment? It is to bring two families together, see friends and family and most importantly, to have FUN! But when the wedding becomes too big, it causes the bride and groom to have to make small talk while going table to table to chat with people they hardly know, instead of enjoying their day. You are not obligated to invite everyone, so the general rule of thumb is to trim the guest list to 30% bride's family, 30% groom's family and 30% friends. What about co-workers? Tell your co-workers that you cannot invite all of them and it would be rude and cause hurt feelings to only invite a few, so no co-workers. A word to the wise, don't even think about inviting guests to the ceremony only. This is really in poor taste and is worse than not inviting at all.
How else can you keep the guest count down? Institute a no-kids policy. You will have to pay for their meals and most kids are not going to appreciate an expensive meal. They are distracting and can take away from the adults having a good time. It is OK to have a couple who may be in the wedding party but best to keep kids to a minimum. (See www.blusheventsaustin's blog: Tell guests no kids at wedding on how to word an invitation for adults only).
How about the plus one's? This is tough, but if the boyfriend/girlfriend is someone you have never met, then you are not obligated to invite them. If they live together they should be invited.
Bottom line: if there are hurt feelings and the families feel like some guests will be upset and missing out, they could plan an informal second "reception" at a later date.
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